“If you choose to seek perfection, may it be in an infallible grace, for yourself, and for everyone around you.’’
Why do we allow our thoughts to be so critical toward our selves, especially about our bodies? No matter how tall, short, big or small, white, black, pink, or blue, we are all guilty of letting these toxic thoughts seep in that serve no purpose other than making us feel pretty low.
Imagine if you had a friend who on a daily basis told you that you were overweight and ugly, I can bet you wouldn’t stay friends for very long… It’s time to do the same with that self-depricating voice in our heads and kick it out… last week I made a vow to stop bullying myself.
I can imagine there may be a few people rolling their eyes, thinking oh yea, I’m sure you have a hard time with self image being a model… Well before you assume, let me fill you in on a little secret – models are the most insecure people I’ve ever met…. Their job is to be booked solely on how they look, that is it. Imagine everyday going to numerous job interviews and being compared to 100 other beautiful girls, knowing that no matter how smart, funny, or charismatic you are it all comes down to that one unchangeable factor. If you don’t get the job of course your first thoughts are to question what is wrong with you? This industry is incredibly tough and models are frequently told to change and improve their image, this ongoing struggle for perfection, scrutinizing themselves down to the tinniest thing, with no end. We live in a society that is fixated on perfection, this is not only prevalent in the modeling industry, though my point is these unhealthy thoughts do not spare you regardless of how aesthetically pleasing to the eye you may be, UNLESS you LOVE YOURSELF.
Loving yourself isn’t about having a big ego and being self-centred, it is actually the complete opposite. It is about accepting your flaws and loving yourself regardless, being vulnerable and open, appreciating yourself, knowing and being true to your values, treating your mind and body with respect, and embracing your uniqueness. Another important aspect I am working on is learning to let go of people and things that don’t serve my soul and bring out the best in me, who needs that extra baggage to weigh you down?
Last week I read a book called Love yourself like your life depends on it by Kamal Ravikant, I had re-read an article from one of my favourite blogs MindBodyGreen and it was suggested as a must read. Being frustrated with picking myself to bits in the mirror that morning I decided to download the eBook. This book has been a worldwide hit and reminds the reader of such a simple practice that is too often forgotten. Humans are constantly seeking love, happiness, and fulfilment externally that we forget we can quench this thirst ourselves. I really recommend you have a read.
I’m sure you have read posts about self-love before, I certainly have, but maybe this time you will make a commitment and put it into practice, when that negative thought creeps in, notice it, and then override it with two positive things you love about yourself, be kind to yourself and remember that you are doing the best you can in this moment.
I want to share a beautiful letter my best friend sent me earlier this year, it’s written by a father to his 4 year old daughter, it really hit home hard for me, words do have power.
Dear Little One,
As I write this, I’m sitting in the makeup aisle of our local Target store. A friend recently text me from a different makeup aisle and told me it felt like one of the most oppressive places in the world. I wanted to find out what he meant. And now that I’m sitting here, I’m beginning to agree with him. Words have power, and the words on display in this aisle have a deep power. Words and phrases like:
Instant age rewind,
Choose your dream,
Nearly naked, and
When you have a daughter you start to realize she’s just as strong as everyone else in the house—a force to be reckoned with, a soul on fire with the same life and gifts and passions as any man. But sitting in this store aisle, you also begin to realize most people won’t see her that way. They’ll see her as a pretty face and a body to enjoy. And they’ll tell her she has to look a certain way to have any worth or influence.
But words do have power and maybe, just maybe, the words of a father can begin to compete with the words of the world. Maybe a father’s words can deliver his daughter through this gauntlet of institutionalized shame and into a deep, unshakeable sense of her own worthiness and beauty.
A father’s words aren’t different words, but they are words with a radically different meaning:
Brilliant strength. May your strength be not in your fingernails but in your heart. May you discern in your centre who you are, and then may you fearfully but tenaciously live it out in the world.
Choose your dream. But not from a department store shelf. Find the still-quiet place within you. A real dream has been planted there. Discover what you want to do in the world. And when you have chosen, may you faithfully pursue it, with integrity and with hope.
Naked. The world wants you to take your clothes off. Please keep them on. But take your gloves off. Pull no punches. Say what is in your heart. Be vulnerable. Embrace risk. Love a world that barely knows what it means to love itself. Do so nakedly. Openly. With abandon.
Infallible. May you be constantly, infallibly aware that infallibility doesn’t exist. It’s an illusion created by people interested in your wallet. If you choose to seek perfection, may it be in an infallible grace—for yourself, and for everyone around you.
Age defying. Your skin will wrinkle and your youth will fade, but your soul is ageless. It will always know how to play and how to enjoy and how to revel in this one-chance life. May you always defiantly resist the aging of your spirit.
Flawless finish. Your finish has nothing to do with how your face looks today and everything to do with how your life looks on your last day. May your years be a preparation for that day. May you be aged by grace, may you grow in wisdom, and may your love become big enough to embrace all people. May your flawless finish be a peaceful embrace of the end and the unknown that follows, and may it thus be a gift to everyone who cherishes you.
Little One, you love everything pink and frilly and I will surely understand if someday makeup is important to you. But I pray three words will remain more important to you—the last three words you say every night, when I ask the question: “Where are you the most beautiful?” Three words so bright no concealer can cover them.
Where are you the most beautiful?
On the inside.
From my heart to yours, Daddy.
Image source: Weheartit.com